I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
