HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
