I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
