I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize