If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
