he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
