Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
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