I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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