I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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