were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
