I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My breasts were aching with rage.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
