first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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