i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her vagine was all disorganized.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
