Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
