I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
