I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
