We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Mom said you looked used
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
