i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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