sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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