I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
