I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
FUCK WHALES
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
