Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Terrible idea I love it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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