Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize