there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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