i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
too bad you live with your parents still
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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