hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Who did Billy Mays play for?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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