I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
