Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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