And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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