Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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