Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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