I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
