saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize