I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
