is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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