i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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