Your dad touched me again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
you never un-have a 4some
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
