i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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