ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
