do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
