Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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