Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
