I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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