i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
