I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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