Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
