So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
it was like eating out sand paper
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
