so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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