Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
