everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
