The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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