Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Everyone says I win the strip club
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
