I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
